November 5, 2024
I never imagined myself as the Chief Operations Officer of a nonprofit. I was already the CEO of a one-woman production company, Sunflower Entertainment Group. Now I find myself CEO (twice) and COO. How the heck did I get here? Well, here’s how it started.
I was visiting Jon in early November. Oregon runs on mail-in ballots, so mine was already in. He needed a replacement, so we stopped by the courthouse, he cast his vote, and then we headed to our Monday D&D at the library. Somewhere between dice rolls, he said, “If Trump wins, I’m leaving the country.”
The sentence landed like a bruise. He could imagine leaving. I couldn’t. Showgirls don’t make much; producers make even less. I said what I’d been carrying: “If Trump wins, I cannot live through his presidency again.” My voice broke. “He killed my dad.”
My father was fighting autoimmune encephalitis when COVID reached him. The system failed him. He died on December 22, 2020, three days before my birthday. That loss is a hollow that still shapes everything I do.
We went back to his place and watched one of my favorite movies: V for Vendetta. “Remember, remember the fifth of November…” I can never forget it.
The next morning, the bad feeling was true: Trump had won. Jon wouldn’t let me drive home that day. Four and a half hours alone in a car with nothing but my “thinky-thoughts” — he knew there was a real chance I might not make a cliff-side turn between Lincoln City and Newport, accidentally on purpose.
December was awkward. Christmas was especially hard. A Zoom call to family felt like thin paper over a deep hole. But even that discomfort didn’t prepare me for January 2025.